Was looking at the Insta earlier, and unsurprisingly the Algorithm has decided to promote all the cheap houses we could buy abroad. We could sell this place, and get the place in Spain, and Ireland, and the little place in Tuscany too. I’d be lying if I said it’s not tempting.

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I’m tired, y’all. I’m tired of ::waves hands:: all of this, and all of them, and of everything needing to be so hard just to get through the day. A week into the new normal, and I’m still not sleeping well. “Get active. Keep fighting. Don’t let up.” Gah.

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APRIL 5: 2023 CAN GO FUCK ITSELF

2023 can go fuck itself pretty hard, thank you. Remission seems to be going as well as can be expected. And, on-track (knocking on wood) for graduation in the fall, plus she just learned she got into Emory Law with a pretty sizable scholarship. All great things. Got laid off last week. Between pay and severance and having a fantastic family CFO, we’re okay for a bit. But really, 2023. Go fuck off.

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FEBRUARY 21ST: REMISSION

“Dad, I’m in remission!” After a month of some really tough chemo, living at Duke University Hospital, she’s back home in Atlanta, and starting on the next phase: Finishing her last semester at Georgia Tech; Getting ready to decide which law school to attend; Living in her apartment, and living her life. And yes, the next phase of treatment, with the results of Induction being as positive as we hoped, and better than at least I feared.

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9

Chemo day. The next-to-last in-patient chemo day too. Hospital time is maddening. Scheduled for a time means “around this time, but probably later, maybe earlier, but we don’t know.” That’s true for “morning” rounds, procedures, chemo, everything. I’m hard pressed to think of any industry where this lack of precision in scheduling would be acceptable. What’s unique about medicine, especially in-patient medicine, that makes this okay? Is it because we are, quite literally, captive customers?

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DESTINY, CLOUD GAMING, LOOT GRIND

Was reading an interesting article on WIRED about the new Destiny 2 art inspiration from the Pyramid Fleet. I’ve been thinking that, while I’m here in the hospital for the last several weeks, that I should get back into Destiny 2 with Xbox Cloud Gamaing and my iPad… And then I realize that what I really want is a way to dive deeper into the Destiny lore without having to do the grind.

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WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 8

Got to have a conversation that still feels absurd, yet was somewhat serious at the very least. My Kindle slid between the back and cushions, and then into the fold-out couch/desk/bed thing in my daughter’s hospital room this morning. I tried taking out the built-in drawers, tried reaching my arm between the back and frame, and no success. I have my micro Leatherman with me, and started with dreams of either disassembling this industrial-IKEA couch thing, or taking a hammer and axe to it.

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MASTODON, FEDIVERSE, MICRO.BLOG AND CONSOLIDATION

Technical Note: I’d like to be able to use micro.blog to also post to my primary Mastodon account, whatever that may be. Alternatively, I’d like to be able to use a “regular” Mastodon client to log into my micro.blog account and post to micro.blog AND my Mastodon timeline. Until then, I’ve got my @braz@braz.me Mastodon account, and then my @braz@mastodon.social account that I use for not-micro.blog posts. For all one of you (Hello, self!

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7

Tuesday, and it’s about a week and a half before we are hopefully done with Induction, and she moves on to outpatient care for the next – well, for the next forever. Spending quite a lot of time daydreaming about a new normal that might look like an old normal. Simultaneously helping her navigate through roommate drama, concerns about where to live in two weeks’ time as a severely immune-compromised patient, and find myself needing to say again:

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MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6

After moving some things around digitally, I probably ought to put up some content. Have a goodly amount of time on my hands – sitting here at Duke with the oldest, as she’s still doing chemo. Not where I imagined any of the things in life would be right now, but here we are.

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